Get all 21 Ryan Carter releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Setup [Deluxe Edition], Poopy, Emily (Clean), Emily, Bleak Desolate Days, I Got Hard, Red-Eye [Single], LABEL ME!, and 13 more.
1. |
Doo-Doo Everywhere
02:24
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[Verse 1]
Suburban Michigan, homie, yeah that's where I stay
Message to the Trump supporters, get up out my face
And the Wolf keep trippin', playing pranks everyday
put a hairy transvestite next to where I lay
plane ticket: Miami, but I don't recall the trip
he was thick as shit, yeah, and had them Jay-Z lips
doo-doo everywhere yeah, fat rolls on his hips
pulled a gun on me yeah, I think I'm bout to take a shit
[Hook 1]
He said he wanna bang me, but Hell naw, he got a dick
said he wanna bang me, but Hell naw, he got a dick
Look, my doo-doo's everywhere, diarrhea sprayed his lip
Yeah, my doo-doo's everywhere, fecal matter on his chips
spray, spray, spray, spray
spray, spray, spray
[Verse 2]
Yeah, I wanna hit the party, and do some pantomime
But I rarely leave my room, or my Melissa Hart shrine
staring deeply at her face while I'm dreaming of the past
but I live in doom and gloom, while I pass gas
Missed the PyCon Conference, Portland Oregon staff (sorry)
Wolf said for the women, but I think that Imma pass
They don't wanna bang me, cuz I'm successful and on top
They might wanna bang me, if I was jailed or selling rocks
I don't fuck with thots, drinking stopped, sipping on a juice box
my doo-doo's spraying everywhere
said I don't fuck with thots, drinking stopped, sipping on a juice box
my doo-doo's spraying everywhere
my doo-doo's everywhere, Trump rally's make me shit
my doo-doo's everywhere, polls show: I'm da shit
and I almost drove to Canada
patrol be transfixed
my doo-doo's hit-and-miss, like Republican leadership
spray, spray, spray, spray
spray, spray, spray
spray, spray, spray
spray, spray, spray, FLUSH!
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2. |
Robbed in Atlanta
01:52
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[Verse 1]
I told, I told, ay ay, I told you
class in the morning, they hate me bad
call me names, beat my ass
no father, they laughed at that
All my life, all is sad, all is bad
In my dreams
Had no cash, or no friends
hurt me bad, people suicide like that
Dropped some albums, life got good
They speak my name in Hollywood
The rep I gained, I'll uphold
I'm passing gas, it smell like mold
we overload the color code
'Member I was a joke
'Member when clubbin' jack
They'll be taking all of my gold!
[Verse 2]
Getting robbed in Atlanta
Twisting my arm til it shatter
Credit cards and my cell phone
Hitting my head with the Magnum
Black Male, bantam
White Male holding a Spandau
I'm singing like Hannah Montana
Drug dealers and gang bangers
Black Male, bantam
White Male holding a Spandau
Lips swole, Jay-Z
memoir, shanty
praying for a vigilante
Now I'm crying for Granny
He told me, pull up my panty
Hope you people understand me
[Hook]
I don't want to feel intimidated, I, I, no, no, no
I don't want to feel intimidated, I, I, no, no, no
TAKING ALL OF MY GOLD!
[Verse 3]
Getting robbed in Atlanta
Twist my arm, kick my dick, stomp my ass (MY GOLD!)
Credit cards, day planner
Wake up in Karachi shit, hardliner (TAKING ALL OF MY GOLD!)
Whole bunch of bullshit
They be stomping my ass out and laughing, shit
They be pullin out guns on my ass, shit
I got plenty of shit in my Jockey's, run 'for they blast and shit
Black Male, bantam
White Male holding a Spandau
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3. |
I'm Very Scared
02:41
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[CHOURS]
outside the liquor store and I think imma SCORRRRRE!
and I see a stree-walker exit out the DOORRRRR!
I saw her legs were flared
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
[VERSE 1]
Man her crotch went... BOOM! my dick swellin'
and that yellow shit be oozin outta the tip fella
CHLYMIDIA!
That's Whats I'm Yellin, YOU DONE FUCKED MY SHIT UP NOW DIDN'T YA?
YOU TRICK!
got me running scared, and my dick sizzlin'
and I got some doo-doo on my fingertips
I be on that taboo, dating Baristas
might just go insane if you bad-mouth Melissa!
[CHOURS]
outside the liquor store and I think imma SCORRRRRE!
and I see a stree-walker exit out the DOORRRRR!
I saw her legs were flared
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
[Verse 2]
I met another street-sweeper
I'll call her "Tranny Chiquita"
knock the socks off my ass with a single swing of her beaver
man that slut sucked my dick so hard
I nutted half of a liter
yea, her real name is Patricia
her finger up my butthole make me shiver
condemed by most religions: Muslims, Jews, and Christians
she be heaven-sent with punishment
she licks the tip and wears my favorite gimp suit
my nipples stay at attention, because she stay in it!
[CHOURS]
outside the liquor store and I think imma SCORRRRRE!
and I see a stree-walker exit out the DOORRRRR!
I saw her legs were flared
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
and I'm very scared (WHAT!?)
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4. |
||||
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[VERSE]
everybody actin' so stanky
they tired and they cranky
no time for the hanky panky
guards is diligent but there always be that one thinkin'
squad is deep, where can I flank it
they don't know me, just a black male figure
suspect somethin-other
we supposed to get along with one another
see me as a monkey in a bubble
too scrawny to squabble
not much different in the city I come from
All the sudden I got people running up, they dissenting
this whole ordeal just seemed lengthy
They tryna tempt me
the more I express, the more they reject me
Even threw dirty diapers at me
Oh-my-my-my
No way out, I'm surrounded, I'm in it
I'm not attempting to offend, so please don't write a ticket
a whole world of civilians, split by cruel dominions
I never witnessed no bed bugs or drug dealins
10 years in, my music still droppin
When they told me to hit the road, that I sucked, I told 'em no and kept trying my best like Rocky
I tried to make something good, before the world watched me
oh yeah, I tried to rap like Pac
but I failed, I was just a tike
Those my own words, yes I short myself every chance at life
but Artis Calloway always gave the greatest advice
let's try it now, with old bullies, I've reconciled
Can't blame nobody now, especially not right now
Certain point when we reach that percentile
give back, give back, but no love in they heart so they abusive
spew hate to levels without a blowback, man bro, heck is with that?
they made diss songs, then hit me up like yeah I did that
And now on my page like where you been at
always on some shit like can I get a favor
Or where my song at, like I'm about to tell you where it's been at
In terms of Careers, I had a mishap
they ain't sorry and I ain't sorry, it's too late for sorry
Red, White and Blue on my body cause I'm American homie
All we do is play dumb and go to them parties
when we complain, we break the mold and we blow up the party
this world needs more authors like Baldassare
Look what the bullies started
I'm a mad writer, shout out to Gnarles Barkley
I got a lot to lose cause in every situation
get my temper sharper, always gotta play it smarter
Y'all look up, some vape and some hooka
insults flying every time I show up
That's why I mutter under my breath, when I say shut the fuck up
name-brand power is sky high
They be like, "Carter, will you please try to be a nice guy"
Dude, what the fuck, Trump is Prez, Hell.. why try?
Got my Rose pink tinted lenses, it's a good day
hitman planning the getaway, we coming for vengeance
Yeah, we coming for vengeance
we never forget, we dwell on that old shit
And you still never quite get it
Meantime I'm over here, tryna write a hit
to Make you wanna dance to this, yeah.. make you wanna dance to this
I rode yellow cab, to the airport, boardingpasses jet rider
Sunshinin', TSA smiling
See Katy Perry, I wink twice and wave
while I daydream blowing my nut right in her face
gun on my bed when I sleep, but I'm awake
For that one night the klan tries to hang me while I lay
Don't push me cause I'm way too unagreeable nowadays
the world is so hateful and evil nowadays
I tell you my life and y'all don't believe me when I say it
Save my tales for down the line, too advanced and way ahead of my time
reverse this song, see what you find
You T-H-O-T
you is weak and I'm always always on your mind
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5. |
Sins On Yom Kippur
02:39
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[VERSE]
The modern day world is terrible, just horrible
When I hit the streets today, they robbed me of my fucking marbles
Then they ran me over, totally by accident
recover, recouping, bruised pride and broke dick
Will this be available online? Yep, surely will
But I ain't in no beef like that dude named Meek Mill
write to your Senate, Carter's back in it
inticing a fight each day, leads to foul play
okay, now I'm hauling ass down the hallway
chased by 3 trannys, 5 midgets, and 4 donkeys
Ghetto-trap hotel clerk lookin like Haddaway
I gotta get the fuck, like Drama say (AYOY!)
You know I like to say "no, that's too risky"
All day everyday, turn down fun shit the quick way
tryna convince the Wolf to take a sick day
but he ain't got shit to say drinking Ocean Spray (OH SHIT!)
bunch of chumps, a fucking rag tag bunch
In school, they stole my money, farted in my bagged lunch
took my head, put it in the urinal, then swish
I wrote this song with my own shit
If my balls fit, suck 'em and lick 'em low
still don't like me? grab my buttocks and kiss em slow
start a little tussle bro, a scuffle yo
Prevent Zika, let the bug spray flow
her googly boobies, my dick spit a loogie
the radio's on - D.L. Hughley
You don't listen, I might judge you like Judy
Over in Israel, having lunch at Sambooki
leaking sperm drops, that's where I came from
thanks pops! I gotta give
that stranger some props
I banged ya sister, got every inch of my pricker
Carter, that jigga that sins on Yom Kippur
writer for hire, if you admire my sound
Make sure the price is right
Before I come on down!
cussing people out like: "You, you, you"
Forgot who I'm talking too, too much Caillou
every year I come out with something new
Blow the whole world up like: "What this button do?"
Carter beats the game with walk-throughs
Run 'em & gun 'em like I do in GTA fool
The way I record songs, damn near unnatural
"Been Around The World" Lisa Stansfield sample
get a headache, might take gel capsule
humped a pro at the chapel, paid her with an apple
First thing they notice years later is the spoof songs
Then they start remembering the kid with the compass on
In came me just to get jeered, "Hi, there"
Been doing this since '08, a fine year
sure my hair feels like Brillo pad
Y'all know your racists, so don't feel so bad
fellacio from the "old bag", upgraded to the "old hag"
once was a winner, but not a swimmer since the ballsacks
Okay now, pay me through PayPal
shipping and handlings free, okay "Corael!"
that rhyme sucked, it made me say "Ow"
maybe I should go, take a bow.. NOW!
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6. |
North Charleston
02:37
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[Intro]
I don't know what I wanna call this record
I'm recordin this record..
Call this record ummm...
Name this bih ummmm...
Ritz Carlton, bih
[Incomprehensible]
[Verse 1]
I'm a loser, fuck, a big loser
I'm a dick, get out your dick-ruler
2 balls and they look blueish
went on a date, and I looked foolish
Melissa Hart blow-up doll, I'm lickin on it
yeah you can say, I lost my virginity on it
fucked hard and I nutted twice
I'm steady moanin', It ain't moanin' back
I dissed myself on my last album
Guess nobody heard about or bought my last album!
Don't knock it, til you tried it out
plastic pussy got some power
Born lame, now I'm kinda famous
shout-out my cookie bro.. Amos!
[Hook]
I'm just hiking out in North charleston
mountain biking out in North charleston
getting lynched right in North charleston
Why the fuck you give a shit? What up North charleston!
I'm just hiking out in North charleston
mountain biking out in North charleston
getting lynched right in North charleston
Why the fuck you give a shit? What up North charleston!
[Verse 2]
Banned from the malls and the court too
streaking naked, right the fuck through
food court, want beef stroganoff!
Told me put some fucking clothes on and stop wacking off
the police arrived with damn tasers
they grab they guns, cuz of my green laser
Said if you got a weapon, better drop it killer
I'm a rapper, let's shoot it out, might get a deal jigga
music royalties, made two figures
If you're listening thank you, I'll write a sonnet about you
on a date, girl got flab
told her get on top, I might die, you like a stone slab
I lost my money, she don't fuck no more
I want some sucking, grab the dust-buster
forgot she had about ten kids
Walked into the room yelling "mama, who's that black jig?!"
[Hook]
I'm just hiking out in North charleston
mountain biking out in North charleston
getting lynched right in North charleston
Why the fuck you give a shit? What up North charleston!
I'm just hiking out in North charleston
mountain biking out in North charleston
getting lynched right in North charleston
Why the fuck you give a shit? What up North charleston!
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7. |
Placard
03:07
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[Hook]
I don't want to listen to your hate, placard!
Shout out to my independent voters, placard!
Up in a skyscraper, placard!
All my shirts is tailored
placard! placard! placard! placard!
[Post-Hook]
Hey!
placard!
Bang this shit in the subs real quick
Lil' trick, I'm back and sqabblin'
Tell them candidates to go away, I need more options
Coke, then Pepsi products, Diet for the conscious
[Verse 1]
Quarter-million, listens man... placard!
other rappers say the same old thing... placard!
409 cleaning, spraying man... placard!
Hey I'm still tryna make my name
went skydiving, held my fate
plaques on top of plaques, Jigga
Five years of being published, Jigga
meeting fans up in the Subway
taking trips out of the country
I've been driving' different roads, Jigga
meeting racists at the polls, Jigga
Got a shoe line with my name on it! (BOSS!)
got a clothing line with my name on it! (GRUNT!)
[Hook]
I don't want to listen to your hate, placard!
Shout out to my independent voters, placard!
Up in a skyscraper, placard!
All my shirts is tailored
placard! placard! placard! placard!
[VERSE 2]
No way, no way, no way, no way
no way, NO WAY! (placard!)
Donald Trump up in the White House, Hell Naw, No WAY!
Neva woulda thought that I would see the dang day!
Things is gettin crazy in the U-SA! (placard!)
I just got pulled over by a agent, bronie!
This white man gonna kill me, he a police.. homie!
ALL LIVES MATTER! Better listen to me!
But ya'll just get offended, and so very quickly!
like (GRUNT!)
watching Wonder Woman on my mattress! (GRUNT!)
eating shrimp, established that's a habit! (GRUNT!)
"Burgers & Fries" gotta have it! (GRUNT!)
Now that freaking song is a classic! (GRUNT!)
Melissa Joan Hart tweeted back yeah! (GRUNT!)
I must be famous now that I'm rappin' (GRUNT!)
open-carry guns they brandish (GRUNT!)
This is gettin' dumb, plain madness (GRUNT!)
WHAT?
No way, no way, no way, NO WAY! (placard!)
Donald Trump up in the White House, Hell Naw, No WAY! (placard!)
Neva woulda thought that I would see the dang day! (placard!)
Things is gettin crazy in the U-SA! (placard!)
[Hook]
I don't want to listen to your hate, placard!
Shout out to my independent voters, placard!
Up in a skyscraper, placard!
All my shirts is tailored
placard! placard! placard! placard!
HEY!
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8. |
Got No Kids
03:06
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[Hook]
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
We see em in parks, we gonna run from them (slang)
ain't gonna catch me in no shit (slang)
got no kids, kids, kids (slang)
got no kids, kids, kids
[Verse 1]
people always asking for the key
when your independent you are free
'Til you are a loser you can't be me
don't take much to get famous in 2016
once a year, keep a album comin'
Every year another album comin'
started rappin in '96
my hand has never touched on a clit
I been recording for years with no freaking help
publishing on my own, with no financial help
I'm like Weird Al dude, I ain't normal, jigga
Just a suburban dude out of Detroit, Michigan, jigga
That street talk, that's foreign to me!
Special dick talk here fuck!
yeah my balls brown as mud damn near
we still stalkin' millionares shit!
We gon' gross you out, I swear
You gon' think I'm fucking psycho
You ain't heard nothin' like this shit
I'm bout to copyright this shit
ASCAP ain't gonna like this
[Hook]
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids (slang)
got no kids, kids, kids (slang)
We see em in parks, we gonna run from them (slang)
ain't gonna catch me in no shit (slang)
got no kids, kids, kids (slang)
got no kids, kids, kids
[BRIDGE]
haters, haters, none of ya'll are on my radar
haters, haters, none of ya'll are on my radar
haters, haters, none of ya'll are on my radar
No, no, none of ya'll, none ya'll even on my radar
[Verse 2]
wake up in the courtroom, I'm facing charges
jump up on the judge's bench, fuck the charges
expose my dick on the court steps
Case y'all ain't notice, I ain't sane yet
girls know I bout to come
Soon as they hear that uh, uh, uh (RIGHT!)
Y'all know the difference right
From rap facts and fiction, right?
Real life I hate Hoes
Real life I got goals
In real life they praise me?
In real life.. Hell naw!
ancestors reverent (true), saw much sufferin (yep)
I fear police (ok), my life different (fo sho)
My name is Carter (WHAT ELSE?)
educated scholar (WHAT ELSE?)
My prez is black (WHAT ELSE!)
fuck the others (HA!)
God bless you all, I wish the best to ya'll
Don't get mad at me!
I'm just a writer ya'll!
[Hook]
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
We see em in parks, we gonna run from them (slang)
ain't gonna catch me in no shit (slang)
got no kids, kids, kids
got no kids, kids, kids
[OUTRO]
haters, haters, none of ya'll are on my radar
haters, haters, none of ya'll are on my radar
haters, haters, none of ya'll are on my radar
No, no, none of ya'll, none ya'll even on my radar
CARTER!
Nightmares in America!
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9. |
Hotpants & Transplants
02:55
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[Bridge]
Street chick, she smells like bile
[Verse 1]
Her legs are chafed
hair dirty, clothes disarrayed
those other Johns don't play
Streets not safe
But she never runs away
after facing foul play
Okie Dokie, there's never much time for the hokey pokey
I pray I don't get a disease
I pray, I pray
[Hook]
I see hot-pants, transplants
Got five bucks in my hand
I gotta pull out, before I blow
Need love quick an in a hurry
hot-pants, transplants
Got a five bucks in my hand
I gotta pull out, before I blow
Need love quick an in a hurry
[Bridge]
Street chick, she smells like bile!
[Verse 2]
parental guidance
this album is not made for the kids
guarenteed to gross-out and offend
leave the whole room in silence
I know she's gonna stick by me
As soon as she see my bush, bonsai!
She don't like to spend time inciting
She got a line forming that's why..
[Hook]
hot-pants, transplants
Got five bucks in my hand
I gotta pull out, before I blow
Need love quick an in a hurry
hot-pants, transplants
Got five bucks in my hand
I gotta pull out, before I blow
Need love quick an in a hurry
[Break]
Got a street girl and she love me long time
slap it, choke it, love me long time
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, she fancies the biting
suck it up, suck it up, suck it up, swallow
suck it up, suck it up, suck it up, swallow
suck it up, suck it up, suck it up, swallow
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, she fancies the biting
suck it up, suck it up, and swallow, girl
[Bridge]
She said!
Tell me, I need to know, how far you wanna go?
'Cause if you're down, next level we'll go..
fist up your butthole!
how far, how, how far,
how far, how far, how
how far, how far
Cause if you're down
Cause if you're down
Cause if you're down
[Hook]
hot-pants, transplants
Got five bucks in my hand
I gotta pull out, before I blow
Need love quick an in a hurry
hot-pants, transplants
Got five bucks in my hand
I gotta pull out, before I blow
Need love quick an in a hurry
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10. |
Endless
02:54
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[VERSE]
Dumped in the Detroit river, live from the Murder Mitten
yeah, Where the crooks who poisoned the Flint city drink
Is on the job, not by fate, tired of the wait
for the Feds to bring deliverance to these dire straits
guns fire at a higher rate, why they open-carry states?
Fliers, people scatter, C-4, cut the wires
Tell the Senators and Congressmen to get a grip
try to think a little bit, instead of doing dumb shit
What a deal, police got guns of steel
one taser, a black runner, get six shots in your back, bummer
A bizarre phenomenon is your vest on
Take your chance, stop for him or speed away, Autobahn
butterflies and love, aw, come on, Barney
Clack, clack, BOOM! BOOM! Oh God, let's party
He must protect the children like a big brother
After that we're gonna tell the racists where the love is
scared and in denial, credit or debit when the name on the card is Visa
leaning to the right like they Condoleezza
Grab a rump you can feel, give a soft squeeza
Raw with your style, if she complains.. get amnesia
Get shot with that bull-shit talk
claimed my territory, took a piss on the sidewalk
Can't take the morals out a good person
Looking for the perfect human, start out with reverse searching
you might find me in a red state
Got the only CD that comes with a free mixtape
Whoever do get to see me think
in quiet rememberance at the final resting place of B.B. King
these rhymes are the real thing, it ain't no joke bro
Standing room only at my Facebook Live talk show
this beat might cause encephalitis
having fun hanging out with your brother's mother
My love is spicier than headcheese, bigger than the three credit bureaus
If they don't know, chances are joe blow
Mental note: yo, dust gold records
Swear to God, when I get awards I am flattered
Blessed with a lame flow, published, got fame bro
Invested in self, the best to oppress distress yo
As I reminisce never forgot the friends that blew smoke
Give it to me straight, I can't afford another fucking joke
Or should I say smoke with help
it's like asking the Klan to give enough rope to hang myself
screw me over, I just take contempt and flaunt it
The long arm of your hate couldn't even put they fingers on me
10-4, this is so simplistic
another black man, way too pessimistic and artistic
And no characteristics for linguistics
I dedicate this to Martin Luther King, his dream's forever endless
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Ryan Carter Detroit, Michigan
Ryan Carter is an award-winning independent recording artist from Detroit, Michigan.
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